Dear One, I like to think of myself as a wordsmith, however, this morning I fail to have access to such skills and shall simply try to tell you what’s up. After much consideration, my heart tells me I must reach out and bring you an update on my current health situation.
One month ago in Wisconsin I received a life altering diagnosis informing me that the lump on the left side of my neck that had been keeping me up at night worrying, is unfortunately a rare type of cancer called Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma.
The thankful news is that it is treatable. This Wednesday the 12th of April (or the 11th for those of you in the states) I will be having surgery at the Royal Brisbane Hospital performed by Dr Sarah Kelly and Dr Morry Stevens, who will remove the tumor and fifty other glands on the left side of my neck. At the same time they will laser a thin section of the back of my tongue that may or may not be cancerous. Depending on the information gathered from the operation there will be more details about follow-up treatment.
If that sounds scary to you it does to me too, and I swing between being scared and witnessing quietly the unfolding in my life. Thank god for my practice of mindfulness and the ability to slow down and breathe.
Thankfully my beloved Elise has made the trip to Australia to be with me on this journey and we would ask for your prayers and intentions for healing this week.
We will attempt to keep you informed as best we can as to how the surgery goes via another email. Please feel free to be in contact with your thoughts, the connection is imperative to my spirit. Understand my lack of a timely response does not mean a lack of love. Lastly, I would like to stay away from public social media on this as much a possible to preserve a breath of privacy.
Dear one, thank you. It is my firm belief as never before … you can’t stop love.
Lyrics to We Just Saved the World
Down Under DOWN UNDER
If you would have told me a few months ago that I would have had to to be this courageous, this brave, dig this deep while down under I would never have believed you. That two of my closest friends, Mike Tarlo and Elaine Macaloso would be gone. That doctors, hospitals, surgery, chronic pain, sleep loss, depression, anxiety, strong medicines, no work, no music or travel would have been my lot, I would have shook my head in dismal disbelief and thought you were absolutely crazy … Well hello crazy.
I want, at this point to acknowledged the transformative, non negotiable, power of chronic pain and it’s ensuing depression. After nine long gruelling months, I’m at last adapting, and, it has been the hardest road i have ever travelled. My compassion has exploded.
Reset! I begin a new, breathe, and remember that I am loved, dear one i am here for you. After which the mysterious and severe nerve damage I’ve sustained in my diaphragm and chest looses its hold and I move forward. Yes and Love. YES i allow, AND i move on, LOVE regardless. As my dear teacher Thich Nhat Hahn says, No mud no lotus. Dear ones my muddy bloody pond has a crop of splendid lotus flowers blooming now. If you would like one, just open your heart and breathe.
Around the campfire a hundred years from now, I wonder what the gang be singing? Love is a circle is a small song as most of my favourite songs are. The Alabama songstress Karen Pell and I crafted a simple melody and tended it with loving words. I think it’s a pure voice, one of love with a capital L.(as in god is) A good campfire starter now or a 100 years from now i recon.